Dating after divorce

October 31, 2008 12:00:00 AM PDT
Matchmaker for the rich and famous, Amber Kelleher-Andrews of Kelleher and Associates, shares the do's and don'ts for all of us for dating after divorce.

Do's and don'ts on dating and kids after the divorce:

1. Make it a point not to introduce a new date to your children until after you are sure they will be a significant relationship in your life. If your children only meet them once and they (the new date) are never seen again it is confusing and hurtful for the children, who are already going through the anguish of the break-up of a marriage.

2. Dating after being married is going to be a new experience ? rules have changed as well as technology so be wise to not only protect yourself but your children and home by not disclosing details of address or home telephone number. It may also be difficult to have your children answer the phone to various men or women (strangers) you may or may not be dating.

3. Try to meet the new date outside the home at least in the beginning. Get to know them first before you even mention to your kids that you have met someone new.

4. Try to meet in someplace well populated... where you feel safe and secure. This goes for either Internet dating or using a personal search firm or matchmaker.

5. Make sure you leave the name of the restaurant / bar you will be meeting at with a close friend or relative. Make sure that they check in with during the evening to see that things are going well and that you are OK.

7. Whatever you do... please be mindful not to bring someone new home and the first time you introduce them to your children... have them 'sleep over.' Introduce the relationship gradually and slowly and if need be make arrangements with a babysitter to stay over while you enjoy a 'sleepover' with your new love at their place.

***This last bit is so important: Your behavior is sending a message on how to conduct oneself outside a marriage. Do you really want to let your kids see you having 'sleepovers' and all that that implies with multiple partners?

Never forget that we are always teaching our children by example. During the stressful time of a divorce they need us to be mindful and responsible... even more so.

Mother-daughter matchmakers: Jill and Amber Kelleher matchmakers to the rich and famous

Look on any newsstand and it seems the American consumer cannot get enough of celebrities or their love lives. Brangelina or TomKat, we can't stop obsessing over relationships of the rich and famous. But even they occasionally need a little help in the love department and that's where the Kelleher's come in. When it comes to coordinating the love lives of America's elite, Jill and Amber Kelleher of Kelleher & Associates are rightly considered America's pre-eminent matchmakers. Specializing in high profile celebrity clients and super-successful, low-profile CEOs too busy to find love.

The Kelleher's have been featured as relationship experts on Good Morning America, ABC's 20/20, VH1 'Celebrity Breakups'; US Weekly, In Touch, Entertainment Tonight and Extra.


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