Richard Goldman's tips:
How to better trust yourself and embrace the things in life that choose you.
Of all the relationships you are going to have in your life, the most important is the one you have with yourself. If you can't trust yourself--if you can't count on yourself--how are you going to ever be able to trust or count on someone else?
How do you begin to recognize that you are the creator of your own life and dreams and that you are the facilitator of them, as well? How do you learn to trust yourself?
1. Recognize that there are "voices" in your head that are always talking to you. Some of them are helpful, some not. Begin to constantly dialogue with yourself about those voices. Learn to recognize who the voice is. Is it you, or is it a parent, a former teacher, your mate, or whomever? If it's anyone other than you, then tell the voice "thanks, but no thanks" and move on.
2. Don't let past mistakes keep you from trusting yourself the next time you need to make a decision. Remember that we all make mistakes and that key to life is picking yourself up, brushing yourself off and moving on.
3. Remember that all situations are new and tell the "same old" voice to quiet down. Experience is what prevents us from trusting new decisions. (Generally these are bad experiences)
4. Get quiet. When the need for a decision arises, take a deep breath. Take some time, if you have it. One great way to get quiet is to learn how to meditate, or at the least learn what Andrew Weil calls 4-7-5 breathing. (I can explain later on).
5. Embracing the things in life that "choose you" is akin to "going with the flow." Life has its own rhythm and the sooner you can just accept that, the better. Of course, it's easy to accept when the flow is something that works to your benefit. Embrace and remember that feeling the next time the flow doesn't go in your direction. It's all part of that big picture called LIFE.
The value of integrity in life and examples of how to be honest with yourself and others.
Integrity is the powerful force behind what you say, what you do and who you are. There is no such thing as a "little lie." The lack of truth-with yourself or with others-makes an implant on your being that will always be there.
It's not always easy to be honest with yourself-especially if it means admitting that you've made a mistake. But learn to be kind with yourself and learn to recognize that when you make a decision, you're doing so with all of the best available information that you have at that time. Things change, and perhaps later on you might realize that you have "new" information that has altered your previous decision. If you can learn to trust yourself, you'll be able to recognize that sometimes this "new" information has caused you to change your mind.
Important questions to ask yourself to help create your own personal destiny In order to create your own personal destiny, you first have to be able to trust yourself. Once you have done that, you then can ask yourself some very fundamental questions, and be able to answer them honestly. Some of those questions are:
1. What do I really want? Sure, it's easy to say "I want to be happy." But ask yourself: "what does happy look like? Is it a happy that I've seen in someone else's life, or is it a happy that I've seen on TV?" If it is, then ask yourself again, because you never know what it's like to be in someone else's shoes, and what's on TV is not "life".
2. Be real clear of your intentions. Ask yourself why you want X or Y, then you can ask yourself how you are going to attain it.
3. Remember that destiny is fungible. It's not written in stone. You change, the world changes. Be flexible and remember that creating your own destiny is something you might need to take a look at every now and then.
Buy the book on Amazon: Luck by Design
About Richard Goldman:
He is a great person to ask, as shown by his decision in 1975 to sink $3,000 he didn't have, (and against his father's advice), into the stock of a three-store retail company -Men's Wearhouse. Goldman trusted his intuition, and though he didn't know this obscure men's store would turn into a billion dollar franchise, he did what felt right. Now, 35 years and hundreds of stores later, Goldman has looked back on a career marked with stellar successes, and is ready to share what he learned from his experiences, so the next generation can lead happy and fulfilling lives of their own. To that end, Goldman has penned Luck by Design (Morgan James Publishing; February 2009; $27.95; Cloth), a book that is half a memoir and half a how-to on making better decisions, trusting your intuition, living with integrity, and designing your own luck, so you can lead the life you were meant to live. Filled to the brim with inspiring stories and solid pieces of life wisdom, Luck by Design is a must-read for Millenials and Baby Boomers alike.
