Surprising new study about teens and sex

May 14, 2009 5:45:57 PM PDT
The top 10 mistakes teen girls are making today.
  1. Some girls don't realize how much their behavior says about their character. They act, and then try to do damage control afterwards. Partly, that's how teen brains work, but girls don't seem to care much about showing good character in today's "anything goes" world.

  2. Many teen girls don't know how to listen to others in ways that help both the listener and the girl grow, learn, explore and connect deeply as human beings. Texting and using social networking sites are taking over communication and they are dicey at best.

  3. Girls don't understand that the double standard is still alive and well. It's not fair, but it's life. The culture tells them that they need to be little sex pots but when they express their sexuality with "too many" guys, they are branded as sluts.

  4. Girls don't understand that we live in times that are hard for everyone to adjust to. We are all trying to make sense of too much communication too fast and the erosion of morals. Some girls seem to assume life has always been like this. It hasn't and parents and teachers are struggling to catch up and be good role models in the face of this new world.

  5. Girls think that they have to be sexual in order to win a guy's attention or affection. Sure, it's a quick attention-getter, but as soon as the next girl flashes her boobies, guess what? The guy is going to look at those, too! Sex doesn't make you special. You make you special. Girls don't get it that in order to be really loved, they need someone to know them deeply and you don't get to the deep, good, juicy stuff by simply unzipping. That gets you to orgasm, not intimacy, which is what girls crave. (Just look at the sales of Twilight!)

  6. Girls don't understand that being more modest in their attire will get them more of the "right" kind of attention rather than showing a lot of cleavage, or wearing micro-minis. Guys have seen boobs for too long. Now they want some intrigue.

  7. Girls don't understand male virginity. The world doesn't understand it and it needs to. Girls need to treat male virgins with kid gloves.

  8. Girls don't seem to understand that they are giving in to male-generated messages from the media to be little sex toys for guys. We let gangster mentality from rap/hip-hop into our homes and have brain-washed our girls to think that oral sex is like a "hello."

  9. Girls don't understand that having self-respect is the basic foundation for almost everything in their life. They must decide who they are, what they stand for, what their character is all about and live it. Having self-respect usually means you are able to show respect to others.

  10. Girls are getting it wrong when they think doing a lot of drugs or drinking is okay. It's not. It's harming their brains and putting them at risk for sexual assault, pregnancy, STDs, addiction, and DUIs among other negative events girls will regret later. Sobriety is an amazing state. But for a lot of girls, they like to get trashed so they can play the "I was drunk" card or "I was high" card. It's a cop-out to being responsible for their actions.
The top 10 things guys wish girls would stop doing
  1. Not respecting themselves
  2. Not respecting others
  3. Being untrustworthy
  4. Not listening well
  5. Believing their Itty Bitty Shitty Committees (their negative self-talk)
  6. Gossiping, especially about their sex lives
  7. Acting like drama queens
  8. Strong-arming for sex
  9. Dressing slutty
  10. Lying
All tips provided by Dr. Jennifer Austin Leigh, author of Laid or Loved? The Secrets Guys Wish You Knew About Being a Dream Girl Instead of a Just-In-His-Jeans Girl.

About Dr. Jenn
Jennifer Austin Leigh, PsyD, known simply as, "Dr. Jenn," is a leading expert on teen girls and the challenges they face, and an award-winning author and speaker. Her mission is to help the world learn to honor girls so that they will grow into competent, caring, compassionate, wonderful women. They are the future mothers and the mothers of the future. Her strategy is to help teen girls discover how precious they are and learn to treasure themselves - no small task in a "Girls Gone Wild!" culture.

Through her books, talks, coaching, workshops, Dr. Jenn PJ Parties?, and a soon to be released line of creative products, she works closely with teen girls, showing them how to grow up with self-respect and respect for others in an "anything goes" world. She also works with the mothers of teen girls to empower them to help their daughters and build loving relationships that last a lifetime. Dr. Jenn has brought her innovative programs to families, school groups, nonprofits and organizations working with teen girls.

Dr. Jenn is the author of Laid or Loved? The Secrets Guys Wish You Knew About Being a Dream Girl Instead of a Just-In-His-Jeans Girl (Ignite Reality Press, 2009), the forthcoming Diary of a Dream Girl: My Secrets to Love and Respect (Ignite Reality Press, 2009) and the co-author of A Little Book of Listening Skills (Paideia Press, 2005). She lives in San Francisco and has four young adult children. For more information, visit her website at http://www.drjennforgirls.com.


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