Stop nagging your husband!

November 12, 2009 4:56:34 PM PST
How to get what you want from your husband without nagging.Six steps to move from nagging to action with your mate

Ask for what you want

Men can not read our minds. Often a wife may THINK she has asked for something, but she has not been specific.

  • Tell him why it's important to you.
  • Use "I" and "We" statements. Not "You" statements.
  • Allow him to understand how the situation affects you.
  • Share with him and explain what you feel you need help with.
Create a Couple's Calendar
  • This is the opportunity to discuss the business of your life.
  • Schedule dates for completion of projects that are realistic and agreed upon.
  • Men are visual so having a list is helpful.
  • The wife should not become the "list maker."
Tone - use an appropriate tone of voice
  • Treat your relationship with the same respect you would your job, a co-worker or a friend.
  • Remember you are speaking to a grown-up.
  • The most important useful form of communication is conversation. This means you are talking to him not telling him.
  • If what you are doing isn't working, don't get frustrated, just change it! Your relationship is an active work in progress.
Intimacy - recognize nagging isn't sexy
  • Typically when you are close to your partner he doesn't see you asking him to do something as nagging. When you aren't intimate with your mate he is more apt to feel distance from you and see your requests as "nagging him".
  • It's rare for a man to use the word "nagging" when they are feeling positive and supported in their relationship.
  • If females can't figure out how to get "action" and are being called "nags" it's a great opportunity to look at their entire relationship.
Opinion - be open to his view point
  • When a mate states, "You are being a nag." He is attempting to tell you, "This isn't working for me."
  • If a person dislikes conflict, he/she may just take on the chore because this is a comfortable pattern. This is when you hear a wife say, "It's just easier to do it myself instead of wait for him."
  • This is your opportunity to listen.
  • Allow him to have an opinion / timeline that will work for his schedule.
  • A successful relationship requires 100% from each partner.
Never become parental
  • Nagging is something a "mother" does.
  • No one wants to have sex with their mother.
  • No one feels "sexy" when she is in a "mother" role.
  • Do not allow yourself to get caught in the trap of "mothering" your husband. It's unattractive.


About Didi Zahariades:

Didi Zahariades, MA is currently a psychotherapist, speaker, executive coach, writer, and life coach. Specializing in the development and management of people allowed her to open her own private practice, Coach to Win.

Over the last six years, Didi has received her Masters in Counseling Psychology at Lewis & Clark College; became a Counselor at Kaiser Permanente; and served as a Motivational Speaker to high school audiences of 500 -1200 students as part of the Monster Making it Count Corporation. Her prosperous practice focuses on individual's age 14 to 68 as well as actively coaching executives nationwide.

Didi has gained national attention as a regularly featured expert on Better TV, a syndicated television program from the family of Better Homes & Gardens, airing in over 50 cities throughout the U.S. Didi has provided televised coaching on various subjects such as: Mistakes Women make in the Workplace, How to Feel Sexy this Summer, Tips to Successfully Decrease Stress During the Holidays, What You Need to Know before You Get Married, How to Lose Weight from the Inside Out, and How to Stand-out in a Competitive Job Market.

As a graduate from The University of Iowa, a diverse background allowed Didi to advance in management and after an extensive business career, she eventually settled in Portland, Oregon. By age 30, Didi had followed a rapid career path and was Vice President for a publicly held technical staffing firm.

Throughout her advancement, she continued to find her best opportunities tied to her love of motivating others which has supported Didi in developing a prosperous coaching practice over the last six years, Coach To Win, www.coachtowin.com.

The current clients of Coach To Win include men, women, and teens dealing with a variety of issues such as: leadership development, relationship issues, depression, conflict at work, school, and home; low self esteem, weight loss, life changes such as divorce, career, and grief; as well as goal development and attainment.

By combining her communication skills as an experienced coach, and her therapeutic skills derived by counseling, Didi has the ability to offer a unique service. .

Through her practice, Coach To Win, Didi has written and presented several successful programs. Her course entitled, The Mind Body Connection, is a 5-hour program for individuals age 25 to 60 to increase the awareness of their body, mind, and spirit through exercises in deep breathing, examples of healthy living, and instruction on the practice of mindfulness.

Another popular offering includes The Better You program, which offers an inventive approach to weight loss. This six-week teleconference class is focused on the improvement of each person's physical body by altering the judgments she carries about herself on the inside. Participants have had proven successful weight-loss.

Didi's newsletter, "Win at Work. Win at Life." is an online resource for learning time management ideas, motivational tips, and an overall reminder of the mind body connection. In addition Didi is also a contributing expert on Best Life Design; her blog is available at bestlifedesign.com

Didi serves as an expert on one of the most well known online counseling sites, www.liveperson.com-- LivePerson (NASDAQ: LPSN) offer a turnkey solution for professionals, providing expert advice online in real time via chat.

Didi is currently completely work on her first book, My Plate is Full, but My Life is Empty; A Perfectionist Guide to Win at Work and Win at Life. Didi lives in Portland, Oregon, and travels on a monthly basis to see clients throughout the United States.

For more information, visit www.coachtowin.com


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