Carol Kinsey Goman's tips to keep in mind to improve your personal "curb appeal":
- Dress for success
When it comes to curb appeal, the way you dress matters. A lot. Clothing has an effect on both the observer and the wearer. It has been proven that people are more likely to give money (charitable donations, tips) or information to someone if that person is well dressed. And, if you'd ever watched actors at their first dress rehearsal, you'd be convinced of the power of the right costume to powerfully impact what the wearer feels.
Dressing for success doesn't necessarily mean that you have to wear a suit to work. Many organizations have a more casual dress code. But it does mean that whatever you wear should help you make the statement that you are a competent professional.
- Maintain positive eye contact
Eye contact is most effective when both parties feel its intensity is appropriate for the situation. This may differ with introverts/extroverts, men/women, or between different cultures. But, in general, greater eye contact -- especially in intervals lasting four to five seconds --almost always leads to greater liking.
Looking at someone's eyes transmits energy and indicates interest. As long as you are looking at someone, she believes that she has your full attention. In her book, The Nonverbal Advantage: Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work, she offers a simple way to improve the impact of your eye contact: Whenever you greet a business colleague, remember to look into her eyes long enough to notice what color they are.
- Learn to speak the body language of inclusion
Back-to-back doesn't do it. But belly-to-belly - facing people directly when talking with them - does. Even a quarter turn away signals your lack of interest and makes the speaker shut down. Remove barriers between you and the other person.
Take away things that block your view. Move the phone or stacks of paper on your desk. Better still, come out from behind your desk and sit next to the person you're dealing with.
Use palm-up hand gestures when speaking. Keeping your movements relaxed, using open arm gestures, and showing the palms of your hands -- all are silent signals of credibility and candor.
Individuals with open gestures are perceived more positively and are more persuasive than those with closed gestures (arms crossed, hands hidden or held close to the body, etc.).
Synchronize your body language to mirror your partner's. Subtly match his stance, arm positions and facial expressions. You may not realize, by the way, that you do this naturally with people you genuinely like or agree with. It's a way of nonverbally signaling that you are connected and engaged.
- Use your head
The next time you are in a conversation where you're trying to encourage the other person to speak more, nod your head using clusters of three nods at regular intervals. Research shows that people will talk three to four times more than usual when the listener nods in this manner. You'll be amazed at how this single nonverbal signal can trigger such a positive response.
Head tilting is another signal that you are interested and involved. As such, head tilts can be very positive cues when you want to send messages of empathy and understanding. But a tilted head is also subconsciously processed as a submission signal. (Dogs will tilt to show their necks in deference to a more dominant animal.)
And in business negotiations with men, women - who tend to head-tilt the most - should keep their heads straight up in a more neutral position.
- Activate your smile power
A smile is an invitation, a sign of welcome. It says, "I'm friendly and approachable." The human brain prefers happy faces, recognizing them more quickly than those with negative expressions.
In fact, a smile is such an important signal to social interaction that it can be recognized from 300 feet -- more than a football field away.
