Steps to healing your self esteem

13 Steps to heal your self esteem

1) Reclaim your power by making, not just the decision to address your emotional health, but the commitment to improving it.

2) Control your thoughts by learning to recognize them and to replace the negative ones with thoughts that are positive and uplifting.

3) Treat yourself like you would treat a friend by speaking and behaving kindly toward yourself.

4) Process all the old emotions that you have carried around, but tried to avoid. This means finding them, acknowledging them, feeling them, and releasing them.

5) Unravel your past and find out who and what negatively impacted you and started the pattern of destructive thoughts that have escalated.

6) Forgive yourself for having made poor choices because you did not have the correct information that would have led you to make the right choices.

7) Get to know yourself because you can't love what you don't know and damaged self-esteem creates a false image, a warped and incorrect picture of who you are.

8) Learn to see things, both past and present, with a mature perspective that comes from objective and adult reasoning skills.

9) Take the right risks, those that make positive changes and lead to improvements in your life, like demanding respect in your relationships, including the one you have with yourself.

10) Set healthy boundaries that allow only reasonable, decent, and fair treatment from others.

11) Heal relationships that are important and worth saving. Fix what you can, forgive all you can, and move forward, or, if absolutely necessary, move on or away.

12) Do a reality check, especially where your expectations for yourself are concerned. Reject the media and Hollywood's ridiculous standards.

13) Build a better life on the outside too. Pursue your dreams and give back to those around you.

For more information, visit Victoria O'Kane's Web site at:

Buy the book on Amazon: A Journey to Joy

Victoria O'Kane will be signing books on the following dates:

Sat. April 26th from 3:00 to 5:00
at Barnes and Noble
4972 Dublin Blvd
Dublin Ca 94568
(at Hacienda)

Sat. May 17th from 1:00 to 3:00
at Borders Express
460 Sun Valley Mall
Concord Ca. 94520

Sat. June 14th from 1:00 to 3:00
at Barnes and Noble
1091 El Camino Real
Redwood City Ca. 94063


Victoria O'Kane will be teaching a FREE workshop on Saturday, May 3 from 11:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. Bring a bag lunch and pen and paper to

Castro Valley Church of the Nazarene
19230 Lake Chabot Rd.
Castro Valley 94546
All are welcome!

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