Stay at home moms are now being called to get extra income given the economy and often fear what going back to work will do. They are turning to addictive behavior to alleviate the stress and avoid taking action.
5 tips to re-entering the career world:
By Dr. Toni Galardi
- List Your Fears About Returning To Work
Make a list of your beliefs about your fears regarding going back to work with a line through the page. On the other side, list possible solutions.
For Example: In one case, a client was very unhappy in her marriage, and she was afraid that going back to work would break up her marriage. A solution: the reverse occurred. Out of going back to work, she no longer looked to her husband to get all her intimacy needs met and was actually happier having some money of her own.
When we face our fears that come from the left brain logical mind, we can use our right brain intuitive mind to come up with possibilities we hadn't considered. By forcing the brain to think more expansively, it will cooperate.
- Pay Attention to How You Feed the Fear
Notice what you are using to distract yourself from being solution oriented, i.e. social media or extensive chatting on your cell to other moms. Whether, you are a stay at home mom or someone facing a big life transition, change can translate in your mind as loss so to avoid the risk of loss. We turn to addictions or distractions to numb out.
For Example: I was working with a stay at home mom who kept herself very fit through jogging and yet around 4:00 as she would start to prepare for dinner, she would start drinking wine.
By the time her husband came home, she wasn't feeling her frustrations about boredom or money fears and could listen to his report of his stressful day. Another mom who was a working mom but unhappy in her job had become addicted to YouTube videos. It was her 14 year old son who busted her in a session he did with me.
By delaying action through addictive habits, you risk falling into a depression because it is only a band aid. By feeling your feelings, you are more likely to do something about them.
- Quiet Your Mind
Spend 10 minutes a day while your kids are napping, for example, in quiet, focusing on your breath and getting centered. Then ask, what is my next step? Answers are more likely to come when our mind is still.
For Example: One client I worked with went to the gym a lot while her kids were in school to avoid her anxiety about getting a job. By getting her still through listening to visualization (on my CD), she realized that a job wasn't her answer.
Designing purses which she did as a hobby could be a business. She shared her idea with another mom and together they started a business.
- What's Your Subconscious Telling You?
Keep a dream journal by your bed and instruct your subconscious mind before sleep. Throughout history, great inventions have come to people through their dreams. Two great scientists, Einstein and Kekule, discovered their formulas while taking a nap.
Lying down and napping can bring you creative ideas. "Give me guidance in my dreams as to whether I should take a job or do something out of my home. Show me." Write down what you remember and you may be surprised.
- Pay Attention to the Overall Message
Now that you have primed the pump of intuition, connect the dots. See the theme in whatever triggers interest or enthusiasm throughout the day. Write down your impressions of what all these things you are interested in have in common.
For Example: I gave this exercise to an out of work executive and she realized that the couple hours a week she spent volunteering with inner city kids was the most fulfilling part of her life.
But, she had a mindset that she couldn't make money doing that, so she dismissed it as a possible career option. When we discussed this, I suggested looking into grants (a huge untapped source) or cold calling companies to sponsor her in creating a charity. The economy is forcing people to be more enterprising, and sometimes self employment offers more creative fulfillment and flexibility around your children.
>> Buy this book on Amazon: The LifeQuake Phenomenon: How to Thrive (Not Just Survive) in Times of Personal and Global Upheaval
For more information on Dr. Toni Galardi, visit www.lifequake.net EVENT INFORMATION:
Speaking and book signing
Border's Bookstore, San Rafael, CA
May 18 at 7:00 PM