More people file for divorce in the month of January than any other time of the year. Tomi Tuel shared advice on how to avoid the post-holiday divorce. Tomi is author of 101 Things I Learned After My Divorce.
Tomi Tuel's book: 101 Things I learned AFTER my Divorce is available at www.Amazon.com.
Marriage Education: www.Californiamarriages.org
Divorce Month:
The day on which a combat attack or operation is to be initiated. Or, ironically it's the day of the year in which the highest number of divorces are filed. Typically it is the first day of the first full work week of the year. This year it was Monday, January 7.
The good news:
The good news is the month is almost over and if your marriage is on the rocks you are almost free and clear, you just have to make it through to Valentines Day!
Statistics
- 50% of these women site infidelity as the cause
- The number one cause for the D-Day filings is infidelity.
- Christmas parties are a rich time for infidelities
Causes:
What are the signs of a cheating spouse?
Physical signs, suspicious behavior, disappearing acts. Profile of a cheater.
The SICK Principle - The discovery steps we go through and how to do it with class.
Suspect
Investigate
Confirm
Kick Ass
Coping with the initial shock:
Getting the news that your marriage is over before it is legally over is one of the hardest things to grasp. It is downright devastating. Hearing their names mentioned together, see their physical appearance change (losing the weight), acting differently towards you. You have to believe the man upstairs has a better plan for you. And it is better to get it all out on the table at once.
Be around people who love you and can support you. Talk about it, get it out, but now is not the time to communicate with your spouse. Lean on family and friends, and seek professional guidance. Get marriage education www.Californiamarriages.org; or churches.
Where's the humor in it?
If your spouse has left you for someone else know this, marriage results from affairs less than 9% of the time and the divorce rate for such marriages is 70%. If you are the one left behind, find the humor in knowing they are doomed.
Is there hope after infidelity?
YES! You can repair your marriage. But what do you do while your spouse is running amuck? You take care of yourself and go on with your life. You can either wait it out (typically affairs peter out after one year) or you can file for divorce. If and when it is meant to be, then you can start repairing the damage. People remarry each other all the time. Just remember there are no rules.
How to avoid falling into the trap of infidelity:
The answer is simple...Marriage Education is where it's at! For marriage education visit www.Californiamarriages.org. They list a whole slough of churches and Healthy Marriage Coalitions that promote marriage education. It is a federally funded program.
