Audrey Nelson's Tips:
- Say it in a sound bite: Women are process oriented - they want to tell you their story and the how, why, etc. Men are goal oriented. "Get to the point, what's the bottom line" was born out of male culture. The "pyramid style" is the Code Switch. Answer a man in one word or one sentence. Then, and only if he is solicitous, you can offer reasons, data, etc. to back your claim/statement.
- Dress for success, not access: This is primarily a Gen X and Y women's issue. Cleavage, short skirts, spandex - all good for the club, not work. How women dress impacts their credibility as well as the image of their organization/employer. Women need to go home and put on some clothes. Sexualization of the workplace is a loaded gun.
- Be the first to speak: Talking first is an assertive act. It communicates confidence and credibility and gets lots of attention. This applies to the Monday morning staff meeting as well as the meeting with your spouse and the banker.
- Don't talk in a little girl voice: A part of femininity that undermines women is being "little." Talking like a little girl gets a woman nowhere. Some women think it is cute and appealing. Not for a healthy exchange with the boss ,her husband, or the school principal.
- Avoid playing office mom: A women's role is social maintenance. Women take care of people and relationships. At home and work women can be become exhausted by extending themselves this way.
- Watch out for the crying game: Women are more expressive. We show our feelings more readily and freely. Unfortunately it can be interpreted by men (and women) as emotional blackmail and manipulative. If she is older she is menopausal, if she is younger she must be PMS. It is a NO WIN.
Dr. Audrey Nelson is an internationally recognized trainer, key-note speaker, and consultant. She specializes in gender communication, conflict management, dealing with difficult people, communication skills, and sexual harassment/discrimination.
Dr. Nelson's professional background includes 10 years teaching in the Dept. of Communication at the University of Colorado, Boulder. For 30 years she has trained and consulted for a wide variety of government and Fortune 50 companies in 48 states, Australia, Great Britain, and Canada.
Among them are Xcel Energy, Pricewaterhouse Coopers, American Board of Trial Attorneys , AT&T, Honeywell, Hewlett-Packard, IBM, Upjohn Pharmaceuticals, Pentax, Lockheed Martin, Johnson & Johnson, U.S. Marine Corps, U.S. Forest Service and U.S. Dept. of Justice.
She holds a B.A., M.A. and Ph.D. in Communication. She conducted post-doctoral work at Warnborough College in Oxford, England. Her award-winning research is cited in such books as More Power to You and Communication Between the Sexes. Dr. Nelson won the "Teaching Excellence" award at the University of Colorado, Boulder.
She was designated "Woman of the Year" by Business and Professional Women. Thirty years ago she co-founded and served as president for the Organization for the Research on Women and Communication.
She was awarded a grant from the State of California "Teaching and Learning Council" for her excellence in teaching. A manager at US Sprint described Audrey this way: "She walks the walk and talks the talk." She is dynamic, informative and will leave you with challenges you won't soon forget!
For more information, go to www.audreynelson.com
>> Buy this book on Amazon: Code Switching: How to Talk So Men Will Listen
About Kathrina Quiambao Miranda:
Kathrina Quiambao Miranda, (MBA' 09) a graduate of the Lorry I. Lokey Graduate School of Business at Mills College, personifies the value of a women's graduate degree and based on personal experience, can readily demonstrate how critically important it is to know how to talk so men will listen.
Kathrina chose to attend Mills College because she wanted to be part of a community whose sole purpose is to educate and empower women by providing the necessary entrepreneurial and business tools vital to success. She determined that a graduate education in business was critical in addressing the inequalities she faced in the workplace.
She came to this conclusion after several years of working in the trenches of organizations - trying and failing to achieve comparable status with male colleagues, being passed up for promotions, and being drained by the role of the "obedient" female worker.
She yearned for a voice in business and was determined the only way to achieve it was through higher education and training. Today, she is armed with communication and collaboration skills that she leverages at work and at home on a daily basis.
Kathrina has put the self confidence she gained at Mills to work in the male dominated career fields of finance and high tech. Nearly forced to drop out of graduate school when little support was forthcoming from her CEO and when the mounting pressure of school and career began to take its toll, she found the courage to speak up and stay true to her dream of completing her MBA.
Today she is an analyst at a management consulting firm providing market strategy to hi-tech firms ranging from industry giants, to start-up's.
As a member of the Board of Directors for African Immigrants Social and Cultural Services, a nonprofit organization whose mission is to provide educational and medical opportunities for children in Tanzania, Africa and assist in the economic empowerment of women in local villages, she has learned to step back first and analyze the big picture before jumping in.
These collaboration skills have taught her that sometimes you don't always need to be the leader - sometimes consensus is a better route to success. And, as a step mother of two, she says the collaborative and communications skills she employs are invaluable - helping her to establish partnerships and working as a team with her husband and kids
About Mills College:
For more than 150 years, Mills College has been a leader in women's education. Located in Oakland, California, Mills serves approximately 950 undergraduate women and 550 graduate women and men each year. The Mills MBA debuted in 2001 as the first program in the West designed to advance women in business.
The program's success led to the development of the Lorry I. Lokey Graduate School of Business and the construction of a dedicated facility to house the growing program. Prominently located on the main entry to campus, the new 28,500-square-foot building is situated on 1.5 acres and stands as a model of educational leadership and environmental sustainability.
Our focused curriculum, flexible program features, and ideal location between San Francisco and Silicon Valley enable us to develop socially responsible business leaders with entrepreneurial vision.
The College is named one of the top colleges in the West by U.S. News & World Report, and ranks as one of the Best 371 Colleges by the Princeton Review. Forbes.com ranked Mills 55th among America's best colleges and named it a "Top Ten: Best of the All-Women's Colleges."
For more information, go to www.mills.edu
