The #1 way we sabotage our dreams is with our doubt. Regardless of what dreams or goals we may have, such as to buy a home, start your own business, write a book, or travel the world, as soon as we get in touch with our dreams what usually surfaces are our doubts.
- With three little words, "BUT, WHAT IF"
We project our doubts into our dreams and activate fear and more doubt. "But what if I fail, or don't make enough money or people laugh at me or it's a bad idea."
Deal with it by separating your dreams from your doubts. Split a paper in half. On the top write out your dream and on the bottom your doubts, fears and any limiting beliefs. Choose which one you are more committed to. Hint: You can tell by the action you take or don't take.
- "I'M NOT _____ ENOUGH" Good enough, smart enough, successful enough etc.
Deal with it by breaking the pattern of negative self talk. Catch yourself in the act (or mid thought) and find something positive about yourself to affirm. Say it out loud and you get extra credit for taking action on your new empowering belief. This doubt is about inadequacy and limiting beliefs.
- "I'M TOO OLD TO PURSUE MY DREAM."
Deal with it by acting today on something that's important to you to demonstrate you are serious. Here's a short story that shows, "It's never too late to make a dream come true."
Anecdote: Bessie had been an amateur photographer for 25 years. Now at 70, she had a very clear dream. "I want to be a world famous, professional photographer," she confessed. "I'm sure I need credentials and don't want to go back to school at my age." "Bessie, what's really in your way?" I gently asked.
"Everyone is telling me I am too old," she slumped. "They're telling me to be realistic."
"Nonsense," I said. "What's a step you can take to show that you are more committed to your dream than to their doubt?" She reflected for a moment and then her eyes lit up. "I know what I can do. I have an application sitting on my desk for a photo contest sponsored by Kodak. Just entering would have me prove to myself that I am serious about this."
She took a stunning photograph of a man playing a sousaphone with golden tones of his instrument reflecting his bright red band uniform which she proudly sent it off to the Kodak competition, now mind you, along with 500,000 other entries.
Bessie won first prize which included a check for $10,000.00. "I ran out to get business cards printed," she laughed. "After all, now I really am a professional."
Her photograph toured around the world with the Journey into Imagination exhibit. She got the whole dream. "Bessie, what did you learn from this? What wisdom would you share?" I asked.
She looked me square in the eyes and said, "It's never too late to make a dream come true."
- "I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY."
Deal with it by exploring creative options including asking for help. People often say, "I don't have enough money to make my dream come true." But when I ask, "How much do you need?" the most common answer is, "I don't know?but I know I don't have enough."
People often go further in life with passion and commitment than with gobs of money.
- First, figure out how much do you really need.
- Second, explore other options. Could you barter or trade? Is there a more creative way to do it that would require less money?
- Finally, who might invest in your idea? When you can inspire people to believe in you, the issue around "not enough money" can disappear. Be highly intentional, explore all possibilities and make every conversation count.
- "I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME." (Or "I'm over committed")
Deal with it by learning to say no. When you have a choice and someone asks you to do something that you don't have to or want to do, say no, "thank you". Big dreams die when we put them on our "to do" list. Turn big dreams into simple projects that you can easily accomplish one step at a time. Break it down into tasks and learn to ask for help.
PUTTING MY DREAM BEFORE OTHERS WILL APPEAR SELFISH (huge for women)
Deal with it by being informed and knowing your dreams matter. Why? It has been medically proven (Columbia University/Dr. Oz) that people with passion and dreams live 7-10 years longer than those without. Having dreams for yourself (and the people you love) is not only not selfish, but an act of generosity.
- Talk to your loved ones about their dreams.
- Create a Dream Team.
- If no one is supporting your dreams, find a place where people will. One place is my community Dream University.com where you can get free help and find people who believe in you and your dreams.
For more information, go to dreamuniversity.com/view/
About Marcia Weider:
Marcia Wieder is the CEO and Founder of Dream University® With twenty years coaching, training and speaking experience, Marcia is leading a Dream Movement. Author of 14 books, she is the personal Dream Coach to Jack Canfield, stars in Beyond the Secret with Bob Proctor and is a member of the Transformational Leadership Council with John Gray and Marianne Williamson.
As past president of the National Association of Women Business Owners she was often in the White House. As a columnist for The San Francisco Chronicle, she urged readers to take "The Great Dream Challenge."
She's appeared on Oprah, Today, and in her own PBS-TV special. Dream University® events include: Dream Coach Certification, Inspiring Speaker Workshop, and Create Your Future Now.
For more information, visit www.dreamcoach.com