Ways to keep your expectations in check:
- Ask yourself what your expectations are for a good marriage. Do these expectations match those of your partner? Are your expectations realistic?
- What expectations do you have of each other as a husband and a wife? Sit down with each other and talk about them (you may be surprised at how many expectations are imaginary).
- Take a step back and assess where your expectations of each other come from. Did you watch your parents live together, happily married, for thirty years? Did you watch them live unhappily for thirty years? Did you watch them divorce? Most importantly, are the expectations created by your parents' example fair?
- Consider how your expectations of yourself as a mother are impacting your relationship with your spouse.
- Remind yourself why you got married to your spouse in the first place.
- Stop thinking about what your marriage should look like. Redefine what a "good marriage" means to you, for this moment in life.
Authors Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile have been interviewed on "The Today Show," "20/20," "Rachael Ray", the "CBS Early Show" and other national media outlets sharing the challenges of modern motherhood that they gathered from moms across the country.
Trisha Ashworth has produced advertising for American Express, PepsiCo, and Levi Strauss & Co. She lives in Northern California with her husband and three children.
Amy Nobile has led public relations programs for Visa, Frito-Lay, and Webvan. She lives in Northern California with her husband and two children.