How to get the spark back into your step

January 12, 2010 3:16:59 PM PST
Was there a time in your life when you had a twinkle in your eye and a standout spark that now seems eons away? Five simple steps to get the sludge off your shine!

Life coach Sherri Nickols, founder of , explains how you can begin recapturing your spark in just 24 hours. In the day-to-day demands of the never-ending to-do list, taking care of everyone else but yourself, all the doing vs. being, have you become a frazzled feline who feels like a diamond in the rough? Good news, ladies, you can begin to change this feeling in ONE 24 hour day, turning the daily grind into the daily groove!!

#1 S -- Smile Your Quota
W.C. Fields said, "Start your day with a smile and get it over with!"

What Fields meant was that no matter how you feel when you wakeup, commit to smiling. Make a plan to commit to a daily smile quota of at least 3 smiles, no matter what - one in the morning, one in the afternoon and one in the evening - just like you have 3 square meals a day. Why do this smiling regimen?? Smiles nourish you from the inside out. (So ladies just surrender to happiness!! You'll soon own it! You know what happens when we're not smiling?) And when we're not smiling...

Most of us have no idea how the look on our face is determining our day.

Here's an example that may hit close to home: A good friend of mine was getting her girls ready for school. She was running late, stressed, in the bathroom hurriedly combing their hair when she happened to look up and see her face. What she saw horrified her. Her face was scrunched up and awfully scary to her- imagine what it looked like to her daughters! She instantly changed into a smile and transformed her mood and getting out the door seemed a lot more pleasant of a task to handle!

For those of us in a relationship, think about when you are having an awful day and you are letting it show on your face...Your man walks in to say something casual/friendly to you, takes one look at you and runs to the garage or his computer room to hide! Obviously, this is not what we want, women want connection and intimacy, right? At least, smile first as a greeting, and then you can talk about the awful day you had and feel better with him by your side!

#2 P -- Play into Your Power
Women lose our power when we act rigid, stubborn, and inflexible?how fabulous that nature intended we have an innate gift of flirtatiousness and softness -this is our unstoppable feminine power. When we become powerful at playing, this trait becomes our unbeatable strength that can be used to change the dynamics of all unpleasant situations. How??

A few ideas:

Come up with playful nicknames for your signifcant other to ease tension and communication - for example, your partner comes home in a really bad, snarky mood - put your arm around him, give him a kiss and say, "Hey, Cranky Pants is home! or if you want to have a heart to heart and your man is closed off.

Shout out, Well, I see the Berlin Wall is up? or maybe your man is a CEO or in charge of many employees, he comes home and starts ordering you around, give him a wink and pat with a "Yes Sir, Butch the Boss!"?just don't let sarcasm sneak into your tone...this is very much about the way you say it - 93 percent of communication has nothing to do with what you say but how you communicate it. Be playful and you rule!

#3 A -- Access The Art of Asking
If you don't get the support you need during any day, what happens? You feel frustrated and overwhelmed, which leads to feeling drained and exhausted and then guess what? That spark gets buried deep! Getting others to say yes is about first and foremost getting them to feel you, which means you are getting out of your head and into your heart. People help you when they can FEEL your pain!

For example:

I had a friend who had a bout of food poisoning. The day after she had been sick all night long, she opens the refrigerator & sees a sausage casserole that needs to be thrown out.

The sight and smell of it was making her queasy all over again so she abruptly said to her husband, "Will you get rid of the left over sausage in the fridge? He looked at her and said, "You can't do that?"

When she explained that she still wasn't feeling 100 percent and that if she got within a closer whiff of that dish of sausage it might not be pretty, and could he please do her a favor and throw it out, then her explanation drew out his compassion.

He did a 180 degree turn and even rid the fridge of other possible offenders showing he was more than happy to help.

When you come from your head, telling someone what to do or asking without giving explanation, it makes the other person feel like a servant. But by letting them know why you need their help, then that person can feel good about themselves for helping and it's a win-win.

Asking from your heart will bring you the support you want?

#4 R -- Restrict Railroading - who or what puts you into runaway train mode?
There will always be someone in your life that seems to want to control you, tell you what to do, criticize you, judge you - don't run from it - stand your ground - stand up for yourself and feel your Goddess power return!

Especially if you are a mom - people are always trying to railroad you into things - host a charity event to raise money for the school, bake cookies for a class party, put your child into a specific program so he gets the "leg up" on his education, etc. don't allow people to live your life for you - live your own life, make your own decisions and you'll feel that Spark lighting you up!

#5 K -- Kick gossip to the curb!
Gossip is the mental equivalent to a sugar high in the body-it gives you the temporary but falsely-induced feeling of elation, "Oh, aren't I better than so-and-so"-and then a bit later, if you're honest with yourself, you're crashing down in remorse and drained energy.

Attempting to gain a sense of empowerment at someone else's expense is never going to make you feel good!

Most people don't realize this but gossiping includes Self gossip - complaining about your life, dramatizing an incident or situation, speaking poorly about yourself - it's all gossip!

And whether you are complaining about someone else or yourself it's creating a victim mentality - poor me, look what's happening to me, can you believe this person did this to me....blah, blah, blah... it's sucking the life force out of you which definitely takes your sparkle away!

Keep your conversations dirt-free so you can shine!

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