How to build a foundation of loving success

March 2, 2010 2:36:25 PM PST
Learn how to feel like a queen and make your man feel like a king.

Becoming the Queen Begins By Teaching the King:

Use the power of anticipation
The French Restaurant Study: When people won a 5-course meal at an expensive French restaurant they were asked when they would like to redeem the meal-have it tonight, tomorrow or one week from today-over 85% said they would like to have it one week from today. Why? Because they get the good body chemistry of thinking about it for a week, their endorphins and dopamine levels rise, they get to think about what they are going to wear, what the food is going to taste like and how the evening will play out for an entire week.

Ask your date-someone you have just started seeing or your lover of many years-to clear his schedule Friday night through Saturday morning at least one week in advance. Then as the date approaches start getting him all revved up by texting, emailing, leaving subtle and not so subtle hints, and the morning of if you live together write a message on his bathroom mirror alluding to what he can expect that evening.

(Note: If you have kids, make arrangements for them to be away for the evening. If this is difficult you might ask a trusted family nearby to take care of your kids and then return the favor in the future.)

Make him King for the day first = Show. Don't Tell
The desired outcome is not making sure your plan comes off perfectly executed. So don't get your feathers ruffled if the details don't go as smoothly as planned. Remember that the goal of treating him like the king for the day is to rediscover one another, talk, laugh, spend quality time together, create a loving memory, possibly discover something new about one another and appreciate what you love in the other. GET CREATIVE: engage all 5 senses, anchor the good feelings in a scent that both of you associate with one another in a loving way (whether it is a scented candle, incenses, essential oils, a perfume, cologne, or something baking in the oven). Let this particular scent anchor you in this loving and sensual experience. The power of scent is that it is the sense that can most quickly bring back a memory in full detail-how you felt in the moment and images of where you were when you last inhaled that smell.

Structure Your Meal Around Aphrodisiacs: so you stay focused, alert, have energy and endurance. Limit your alcohol intake to one or two drinks.

Basic Rules: No cell phones (unless you have a babysitter and then have a special ring set for them). No talking about the daily routine stuff. Get creative in your questions. Be interesting and interested.

Have his outfit for the evening set out and ready for him to get into. OR if you trust his sense of style, just let him know the type of outfit he should wear for the evening.

Flirt Like Crazy: Left-eye gaze -make your love feel completely connected to you, see them with all your emotive side, and put him at ease. Smile sincerely. Eat seductively. Tell him sweet nothings. Be completely present in the moment. He is your king!

Know His Love Language: Engage the night's and morning's activities around what fills him up most. Think what he would appreciate. Pay attention to the details.

***At the end of this fabulous evening and morning of completely loving your king ask him if some day he will return the favor and make you his queen for the day.

Ask for what you want, don't make him guess

Create a place in your bedroom (if you live together) that honors your relationship, include in this area pictures, poems, memorabilia, fresh flowers and candles. Have 3x5 cards and a pen so you can write down notes for one another about what you love and appreciate about each other. Also, have a place where you can submit ideas that you would like him to do for you, with you or to you when you get to be queen for the day.

If you just started dating, write down ideas for when it's your turn to be queen for the day and give them to him as suggestions. In turn, ask him to give you ideas as he comes up with them.

Create memories to last a lifetime that build a foundation of loving success

It is the attention that you give your partner that shows you honor and love them. It is your desire to keep making your relationship fresh that is critical for its long-term success.

Some people believe that romance should just come naturally and that if it doesn't something is wrong. Nothing could be further from the truth. Time, coupled with familiarity, is the great destroyer of romance, which is why true romance, the kind that defines a thoughtful and lasting love, is in the actual stoking of the flames. You need to keep up your relationship maintenance by making it fun and sexy! If you aren't your partner's lover, who will be vying for that position? Make the time to honor your love and your relationship.

Filling Yourself Up

Do you know what fills up your own love reserves? Are you making the time to fill yourself up? You need to fill yourself up first, not our jobs, the men in our lives, our friends or families. Our society and beliefs often make us feel guilty when we choose to put ourselves first but I am here to remind you that if you don't put yourself first you won't have the inner joy, inner surplus and inner love to take care of others. Taking time to take care of ourselves first is the only way we can achieve overall happiness in our lives and in our relationships.

Place your personal joy above all other values. As you feel good, you are more self-confident. This is sexy. Commit to being an overachiever in the fun department. Guys want to be around women who know how to make themselves happy. When you are already happy it makes pleasing you so much easier for the men in your life. The men who love you really do want to increase the joy in your life, which is difficult if you are coming to a relationship completely depleted.

You need to know how to fill yourself up before you can be truly happy in a relationship and you need to be clear on the fact that it is no one else's job to make you happy but your own. Create your own love rituals and schedule time to fill yourself up.

Kicking Your Fears to the Curb

Criticism, blame, judgment of others and yourself is not sexy and only do damage to yourself and your relationship (or potential of getting a relationship). When you have these negative feelings and inner self-talk, these feelings are transmitted through your whole being.

When you engage with someone, you physically connect with them on a deeper level as your mirror neurons and spindle cells connect. You have the opportunity to make them feel uplifted through your connection with them; actually improving their internal chemistry by increasing your level of endorphins. In turn, you can also create a negative impact. The thoughts you have affect the way you look at someone and your body language toward that person. If you sincerely smile at someone, that smile is contagious and they can feel the warmth and sincerity of your smile. If you smile at someone, while thinking judgmental or critical thoughts, the smile is not sincere. You will not be engaging the same muscles in the corners of your eyes or the area around your mouth that you would if the smile was sincere. The person you are engaging with will feel the insincerity of your smile and they will feel a disconnect between your intentions and your facial expression.

Be willing to investigate how your mind and belief system are currently configured around men and relationships.

Are you subscribing to beliefs such as:

  • I can't trust men.
  • I am not pretty/skinny/talented/funny enough.
  • All men cheat/only want one thing/are chauvinistic.
  • Relationships are hard work.
  • I'll never find someone.

    Learn how to turn the switch from these thoughts to thoughts based in love not fear or insecurities. Are these beliefs serving your higher good? Decide which of these beliefs serve you and which you will choose to not be blindly guided by anymore.

    Complete the following sentences with your new belief system:

  • Love is...
  • A good man is...
  • A relationship is...

    When you engage in criticism, blame and judgment of others you will never be their queen, nor will you make them feel like your king. It is when you authentically appreciate them and are grateful for having them in your life that they can feel that and want to continue doing what they are doing.

    FYI: A statistic that all people considering marriage and those who are already married should know-69% of all marital issues or problems persist through the lifetime to the marriage. That means it doesn't matter who you marry there are destined to be challenges that persist in every relationship. So what then makes individuals thrive in their marriage? What makes someone a marriage master? It is their ability to proactively work through the disagreements that are bound to come up throughout their relationship. Those who know how to not only communicate but to also argue with one another without damaging their love for one another or the integrity of the partnership. There are techniques to proactively argue with your partner if your relationship is based on a solid loving foundation.

    You can't change others so start by looking inward at what you can improve in yourself.

    Package You As Your Most Irresistible Self Your authentic self is the sexiest self you have? if there is something you would like to change about who you are right now-your clothes, your make-up, your haircut, your weight-look at these areas as an opportunity to grow and develop. Don't resist this part of yourself. Change your negative thought patterns around it and recreate a more positive inner dialogue. Because whatever you resist persists. Only when you love yourself can others truly love you in such a way that you fully receive it.

    Also by being your authentic self you will be able to sort fast through the men who either don't click with you or don't appreciate you for who you are. When a man isn't "the one" and he exits your life be grateful for him for not wasting your time and for opening the door for your most perfect love to come into your life.

    February 5th
    A Cup of Love: Valentine's Day Prep For Women Only
    Crown & Crumpet | Friday 2.5.2010 @ 6:30 PM

    "A Cup of Love" - How to make any man want you to be his queen for the day and you, in turn, make him feel like he's your king.

    About Joy of Romance
    The Joy of RomanceTM makes fulfilling your romantic desires easy. By focusing on providing superior service, top-quality products, and teaching the life skills necessary for you to be the best you can be in your relationships, the Joy of RomanceTM creatively inspires you to place romance, passion and your intimate relationships as a top priority in your life. Designed to inspire the inner romantic in everyone, our team will guide you through the steps, supply you with all the accoutrements, and aid you in creating the desired results.

    The Joy of RomanceTM cultivates more love and joy throughout the world. It succeeds in accomplishing this mission by teaching individuals and couples relationship-building skills, by creating magical events in couples' lives thereby cultivating a solid foundation of love-filled memories, and by bringing together the best-of-the-best of products, services and content in the arena of romance. Our passion fosters the development of your dream relationship.

    With all the stress, tension and responsibilities placed upon us, we need the enjoyable aspect of life that romance provides. With the simple implementation of just a few suggested ideas from the Joy of RomanceTM, you can improve your romantic skills and see your efforts rewarded ten-fold.

    Most couples don't attend classes or get a degree in establishing, growing or excelling in making their relationships conscious, love-filled and passionate. There is a fifty percent divorce rate in America for first marriages, which increases to seventy five percent for second marriages. These extremely significant statistics reveal an unavoidable truth: individuals have a great deal to learn about making relationships stand the test of time. One of the key steps in prioritizing romance in your relationship is through a solid foundation of compassionate communication, constant gratitude and growth. The Joy of RomanceTM excels in passionately teaching these skills.