Effectively handling sibling rivalry

October 6, 2008 12:00:00 AM PDT
The root of sibling rivalry -- what you may be doing that triggers your kids to fight. Lisa Bilgen, president of Peace Parenting Project, and Dr. John LoRe, co-founder, explain how you can diffuse your kids' fights and empower them.

Excerpts from a Peace Parenting Project workshop:

Decreasing Sibling Rivalry

  • Avoid comparisons, both positive and negative.
  • Treat children according to their needs, not equally.
  • Show siblings you love them uniquely.
  • Avoid labeling.
  • Allow children appropriate expression of negative feelings toward their siblings.

Managing Sibling Conflict

  • Bring peace to the fights.
  • Let the children solve the problem themselves!
  • Refrain from taking sides; put them in the same boat.
  • Do the unexpected.
  • Watch your tone of voice.
  • Separate them when the behavior becomes physical or dangerous.
  • Teach and coach them to use conflict resolution.

About Lisa Bilgen, M.A.
Peace Parenting Educator Certified Redirecting Children's Behavior Instructor

Lisa created Peace Parenting Project with the lofty goal of creating a generation of emotionally intelligent, heart-centered children, for whom peaceful conflict resolution is second nature.

Lisa co-founded and led Attachment Parenting International's Austin Northwest Chapter, providing education and support to parents committed to a healthy, heart-centered approach to raising children peacefully.

Lisa worked with parents of newborn infants at Family Connections in Austin, Texas, a non-profit organization dedicated to proactive parenting for at-risk family systems. At Family Connections, Lisa trained parents of challenging circumstances in applying methods proven to reduce behaviors considered violent toward children, replacing these behaviors with simple and effective peace parenting techniques.

Lisa started her career in Peace Education as a cross-cultural trainer, helping adults understand how cultural beliefs play a role in everything from cultural adjustment processes to conflict resolution. Later, as the Director of Intercultural Programs at Boston University's Center for International Health, Lisa helped professionals from a vast array of cultures work together as a team.

Through seminars, workshops and individual & family coaching, Lisa now helps parents create peaceful, loving relationships with their children and a home environment in which children are encouraged to become their truest self.

Lisa's services are available in English and Spanish.

About John LoRe, PhD, CAS
Clinical and Consulting Psychologist Licensed HeartMath® Provider ? Clinical Ayurvedic Specialist Dr. LoRe has worked in the mental health field for the past 28 years. He is a Licensed HeartMath® Provider and has a degree in Ayurvedic Medicine. He is currently writing his first book, offering a new approach to Psychospiritual Therapy.

Dr. LoRe has worked with adolescents and middle school children, both in private practice and in the school system, for over 24 years. He works extensively with individuals, couples and families. Dr. LoRe specializes in ADHD (in children and adults), Anxiety, Depression, Parenting Together, Conscious and High Conflict Divorce and Personal Transformation.

Dr. LoRe started Peace Parenting Project in response to the need for a new paradigm in parenting, one in which a Heart-Centered approach to raising children results in close, loving relationships between parents, and parents and children.


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