Deadly dating blunders

December 3, 2008 12:00:00 AM PST
Dating blunders! Common mistakes that can end a relationship. Mid-life dating coach Annie Gleason, author of "Ask Annie" at GetALoveLife.com and the dating examiner for the SanFranciscoExaminer.com, shares her dating advice.

Deadly dating blunders -- -common faux pas that cripple courtship

Tips:

Meeting people:

· Women are more successful when they entice men to ask them out - let him know you'd like to know him better, and wait for him to ask you!

· Don't assume people are (or are not) single and available- it's best to ask unless they have a ring or talk about their spouses.

· Have a positive attitude - if you think that men are losers, you won't find a great guy to date. Single women often forget that most men are caring, vulnerable people.

First Dates:

· Keep the planned date short, so that if it really falls apart, you can leave without either of you losing face. You can always extend it if you're having a great time.

· When a man opens a door for you, or helps you with your coat, be gracious - smile and say thank you. Do NOT say, "I'm capable of getting that myself!" or any other indication that you don't appreciate his efforts to be a gentleman.

· Share details about yourself gradually, over several dates. If you reveal everything too quickly, you appear to have no boundaries, which makes you appear desperate.

· Keep the conversation balanced. If all you do is ask questions, it's too much like an interview. Talk about yourself and your experiences at least 40%, no more than 50%, of the time.

· Keep your checklist at home. Your first date is so that you can get to know if you like him, not to find out whether he meets all of your requirements.

· Email or call him (keep it short) within 24 hours of the date and tell him how much you enjoyed it.

· Trust everything that he tells you, but verify by his future actions. If he doesn't act on it, if he doesn't call you and make plans later, don't make excuses for him. It means he's not interested.

· It is not your job to tell him what he is doing right or wrong during the date. Do not correct him.

· Don't talk about your job for more than 60 seconds, no matter how fascinating it is. You're looking for an emotional connection, not a work-relationship.

· Don't go on and on about your kids. This puts the date on a parent level rather than a romantic one.

· Don't talk about your emotional baggage. This includes details about break-ups of any kind, how horrible any of your exes were, how you have been traumatized by any man.

· Don't talk about how long you need to know him before you'll sleep with him.

About Annie Gleason

Annie Gleason is the West Coast's only mid-life dating coach specialist. After coaching part time for four years, she launched Get A Love Life and began coaching full-time September 2007. She is the Dating Examiner for San Francisco Examiner.com and the author of Ask Annie at www.getalovelife.net . She speaks about dating for Rich Gosse singles events, Solano Singles, and Beachcomber Singles.

Gleason studied dating coaching with Susan Bradley, RN, who is one of the founders of dating coaching, with over 25 years of experience.

Gleason has a background in business and solution-based sales. For over 20 years more than 98% of her clients were men. Many of them repeatedly sought her advice about dating. She realized that there was a huge disconnect between how men communicated their feelings and how women perceived them. She was inspired to help men and women understand each other better and entered the world of dating coaching.

Gleason learned from her own dating experiences that if people don't break out of certain patterns they may not achieve their romantic goals. She helps her clients identify and conquer their limitations, understand their souls and pursue their personal goals. 75 percent of Gleason's clients are in satisfying long-term relationships and many begin to see results after just a few weeks of working with her.

Gleason is currently engaged and living with her fiancé. They plan to wed in the spring.


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