Savvy advice for dating after divorce

March 3, 2009 12:00:00 AM PST
Dating after divorce can be tricky and uncomfortable. Leslie Stewart, love coach and creator of, has some savvy advice.

Pushing the dating "reset" button after divorce

After a marriage or long-term relationship ends, the thought of getting back into the dating world can be daunting. But if you let it, divorce can be the best thing that ever happens to your love life, according to San Francisco based love coach Leslie Stewart at, who works with women of all ages and backgrounds, because it allows you to push the "reset" button. Leslie recommends that the newly divorced take the time to recognize and heal past wounds first, think about what they want, and above all, make dating FUN! Here are Leslie's tips for "getting yourself out there":

Do some mental homework first!

1. Release the past. Forgiveness is key to getting out of the past, making yourself available again, and a conscious decision that is also a gift to yourself.

2. Conduct a "releasing ceremony"

  • Write out your feelings on paper - don't hold back.
  • Burn the pages (in a safe place!)
  • Create a set of positive "new beliefs" about love, men and dating and post them in a place where you see them everyday.

3. Create a Vision - to get what you want. Clearly pinpoint your WANTS for your life & for a relationship! Make it whatever you want at this time in your life (finding a soulmate, dating three times a week, finding a hot younger man for a post divorce fling). Make your vision tangible. Create a "vision box" like Leslie's, where you put visual representatives of everything you want in your life.

Refresh yourself

1. Replace your storyline: FROM 'I'm a divorcee' or 'I'm X age and single again', TO 'I'm open to meeting someone fabulous for me' and 'I'm available for love & connection'. The words and 'story' we tell ourselves and others are powerful.

2. Love yourself up! To get the feel for dating again, for 21 days take yourself on dates - walk the ocean, put out your fine china, romance yourself with candles, music & champagne.

3. Make a few changes - in the way you color or style hair, your outfits, etc. to indicate that you're a new woman - you will project an air of freshness and renewed energy & the world will feel it too and be drawn to you.

Start slow -- practice makes perfect

1. Flirt! Take your time when getting to know someone Start with two simple things: smile and make eye contact. Practice flirting with everyone: the barista at Starbucks, the mail man, a stranger on the street, women, children, and animals! (This changes your energy and you also never know who you might meet.)

2. Try on-line dating. Think of it as "dating practice only" at first. Keep email exchanges minimal & meet in person as quickly as possible for a 'mini-date', such as a 20 minute coffee date.

3. Be engaged in the world and focused on YOUR life. It might sound cliché, but by making "dates" with your friends, doing activities (even outside your comfort zone), and fostering new friendships, you will find that you will be excited about your life. This will help your emanate a positive energy that will draw others to you.

"Savvy Woman's Relationship Bootcamp: Hit the Re-set Button for New Love" with Leslie Stewart
Saturday, March 21st
10AM - 5PM
Fort Mason, San Francisco
$199 if booked by March 12th.
$239 after March 12th.

About Leslie Stewart
As the Savvy Woman's Love Coach, Leslie Stewart assists women to become a magnet for love, passion and a meaningful relationship. Her clients are independent women with successful careers who are looking for that special someone in their personal lives. Through coaching, Stewart creates a safe haven to explore the meaning of love and to eliminate the stumbling blocks on the path to love.

With over 12 years of experience in the corporate world, she understands the challenges women face with balancing relationships and career. She has witnessed an epidemic of successful women who are disheartened by dating, yet yearning for meaningful connections and true love. They worry that all of the good men are taken and question if it is possible to have both a career and relationship.

Building upon her success as a sales and business coach,Stewart has created life-changing programs for women in the professional world who are seeking to reconnect with their authentic selves and create a bridge between their reality and desires. By integrating her education in psychology with her professional training through the Coaches Training Institute, Stewart has created a savvy approach to finding love with elegance and grace.

Leslie Stewart currently offer private coaching and women's workshops. Topics include:

  • Examining your fears that are causing obstacles to intimate relationships
  • Exploring how to enjoy both a fulfilling career and relationship
  • Magnetizing your ability to attract love by indulging in stress-melting, beauty enhancing "me time"

Visit for upcoming events, resources and special offers.