Maintaining fidelity in your marriage

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The 10 Commandments for men and women to have a successful marriage
From Mark Verge and Ronald Ebanks

After two decades of a loving marriage, it's Mark's hope this will help both sexes stay faithful. If you can't stomach the following rules, then you shouldn't head for the altar.

  1. Believe in marriage before you get married
  2. Do not cheat mentally or physically
  3. Do not go out without your spouse past 11 p.m.
  4. Remind your spouse you love them daily
  5. Never check out other sexes in front of your spouse
  6. Never lead on or initiate any relationship with someone of the opposite sex that your spouse does not know about
  7. Do not consult someone of the opposite sex about your marriage
  8. Never forget who you married
  9. Stick to your marriage vows, no matter what
  10. Never ever forget rule number one
About Mark Verge:

Mark Verge is a faithful husband, father of a son and daughter and a serial entrepreneur, owning and operating over 20 businesses.

Verge's most recent endeavor is a venture into the literary world, not surprising given his eclectic background and extensive knowledge on the subject of fidelity.

Mark married his high school sweetheart before building his empire, and has faced just about every challenge one would expect when trying to create a business and maintain a relationship.

About Ronald Ebanks:

Of all who know Ronnie or know of him, some might mistakenly think that his nickname, "The Love Man," comes only from his uncanny and entertaining ability to make every woman he comes across feel as though she is the most important, the farest, the sexiest or the funniest lady in the world.

Or at least in that particular room at that particular moment. But what many fail to understand is that the "love" in "The Love Man" isn't just reserved for women, but rather to be shared amongst everyone! Men, women, children, animals…you name it.

No matter who you are, when you are around The Love Man you feel a fantastic energy. The Love Man will find some way to connect with you and to put it quite simply, make you feel good.

His insatiable desire to express love, receive love and foster it amongst the world around him is why, in the minds of all who really know him, he is called "The Love Man."

The Love Man was married at age 18 and became a father for the first time at 19. As it happens, The Love Man and his wife divorced in 1991 for a variety of reasons he uses to help other couples avoid divorce.

Besides a 10-month engagement in 2007 that was subsequently called off, Ebanks has been living single ever since. The Love Man has keen insight as to what men think and why they cheat - making him the perfect addition to Access to the Boys Club.

About their mission:

When Mark's daughter was four years old, she asked, "Daddy, what's a day-vorce?" His precious, little girl broke his heart that day.

She'd gotten wind of the fact that a close member of the family was getting divorced and she was trying to understand what that meant and why everyone was so sad.

How could he tell her that a family member messed up, cheated on his wife, and had a short-term affair that would have long-term repercussions? Why should little kids be walking around worrying about such big problems?

As a parent, he wants to protect his kids from the evils of the world, and day-vorce entered her life way too early. The bottom line: Kids don't deserve this crap.

As a businessman and entrepreneur, he's always striving for ways to make things better. They say entrepreneurs live in the future and managers live in the past, and as an entrepreneur, Mark began thinking about how he could contribute to making a better future for parents who are about to make a bad move. He wrote this book as a preemptive strike, as a way to get to would-be cheats before they take that leap.

If you look at your marriage as a company, and both of you are the CEOs, if one aspect of your business is failing, you don't just sit there and watch it go bust. You assess the problem, take measures to fix it and hopefully, you can sit back and watch the fruits of your labors flourish.

The only way to really get Mark's point across was to tackle the subject head-on, in all its dirty glory. Parts of this book won't be nice, the boys' club isn't a nice place. Men are dogs and women need to know that.

The dirty truth: Most men don't want to get married. Weddings are a women's thing. But the majority of men who do get married, want to stay faithful and have a faithful marriage.

There is magic in that. They just haven't been given the tools on what it takes, and likewise, women haven't been given the true gritty insight into these beasties they're plotting to spend the rest of their life with and procreate with.

Once you decide to have kids, that's where the buck stops. You wouldn't do anything else to hurt your children, so why cause them the ultimate pain by throwing away your marriage on an affair?

Mark spends a good chunk of time talking about the what-ifs, the woulda, coulda, shouldas and the post-traumatic stress that ensues.

Mark ramped up the release of this book during the Tiger Woods fallout. Sadly, he is now the poster boy for this subject.

As he's learned by now, at the end of the day, all that should matter to him are his wife and his kids. Every father wants to be a hero to his children, their knight in shining armor, and once that armor is tarnished, it's gonna take some doing to repair it.

He'll probably plea out with sexual addiction, but it's my hope that he takes the time to work on his marriage, his family and rethink who he surrounds himself with.

This book is rough in parts, brutally honest throughout, because in order to warn people about the damages they'll incur by screwing up their marriage, we've got to scare 'em straight. With cigarettes, you'll see gnarly photos of lung cancer. With alcoholism, they'll scare you with images of wrecked cars. With affairs, I'm going to show you the damage you cause your kids and your family.

In traditional Asian medicine, the doctors are lauded for working with their patients on preventative measures. In the Western world, the doctors focus on treatment. In marriages, by the time you get to treatment, the cancer's already spread. This book is all about preventing the death of a union.

Mark wants to give women access to this club, because he wants marriages work. He know I'm going to piss off a lot of men, because, like magicians with a code of secrecy, men, i.e., players, want to see their dirty secrets kept secret.

Well this book is opening Pandora 's Box, and it's all because he want to see men and women give marriage their very best shot.

About the Book:

Access to the Boys' Club shows you the dirty truth of how men think throughout its pages, and how, despite their brutish instincts, you can still achieve a strong marriage with a bit of know-how.

Because it's my firm belief that fools rush in, he turns to the nation's experts and offer up Fools Case Studies and Fools Narratives. Here, he hits hard to wake up couples before they tie one on, tie the knot and end up with their stomach tied in knots for the next two decades. This said, if you're married, you can still take a marital inventory.

See what shakes out. He also pull no punches when examining the cheats. He takes a clinical and often emotional roller-coaster ride through the world of infidelity, mostly chronicled from married couples but also applicable to pending nuptials.

He holds cheaters up to all angles and offer multiple checklists and a variety of self-help Fools Narratives, where true-to-life scenarios play out in first-person. He takes the time to interview dozens of happily married couples, who candidly share their success stories.

He also spoke with those who gave honest accountings of their failures, and it's my belief you can learn a great deal from both. He not only include tips from relationship experts but he also chronicles real-life tales from serial cheaters and perennial bachelors in the hopes that our readers will have the opportunity to side-step emotional landmines once they've had an opportunity to examine the signs and symptoms closely. You've got to learn to wade through the muck to achieve fidelity.

Of all the things you can accomplish in life, a solid, trustworthy marriage should be at the top of the list. It's the role model you become for your children, it's the love you show your spouse, it's the looking back at the end of your life, surrounded by family and love that you simply can't and won't have if you're not living up to your vows.

And for those who rushed in and didn't get it right the first time around, this book offers insights to what may have gone wrong and how to achieve true love the second time around. For those who are mid-marriage and feeling the yearnings and burnings of the seven-year-itch, READ THIS BOOK.

Second only to "Fatal Attraction," much of this book is evidence that serial cheaters create a lifetime of pain for each and every family member affected by the affair/affairs. Anywhere you read the word "husband," feel free to substitute "wife," "lover," or "partner," depending on your situation.

Although it's almost an antiquated notion in the era in which he lives, he spends a lot of time on fidelity because-forget what you heard-monogamy does work.

Marriage at its core is founded on trust and loyalty and despite the other hardships one faces during a lifelong union, knowing that your partner is devoted to you is the key to getting through these hardships.

In addition, when marriages do break up, the animosity that exists when affairs have occurred is so devastating, it's hard to get past the anger to the friendship, which is where any divorcing parents need to end up. Now, let's take a look at the era we live in.

Few would argue we live in tabloid times, where Hollywood stars and starlets have become the role models-or lack thereof-for our youth. It's a depressing thought, but it's one we have to face head-on.

Our daughters are being influenced by young celebutantes who can't keep a relationship, let alone a marriage, intact for more than a nanosecond.

A well-distributed sex tape is all that stands between a wannabe and a reality show. And everywhere our sons look, they see a player's culture, musicians and actors whose idea of intimacy is a Las Vegas nightclub with a house full of strippers.

To be sure, we've got our work cut out for us to turn this tide. And it starts with us, right here, right now. Our behavior impacts our youth, and if we can start living up to our own marriage vows, we can help foster stronger unions among our children.

And for the divorced person reading this, don't feel like a loser. You can still incorporate good values in your children, but you are going to have to work double hard.

The goal, Mark believes, is to look back at the end of our lives, surrounded by loving children and grandchildren. After all, life goes by so fast and life won't wait. If you can live up to the "happily ever after," that will have been a life worth living.

>> Buy this book on Amazon: Access to the Boys Club

For more information, visit www.accesstotheboysclub.com

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