Decoding dating signals

January 27, 2009 12:00:00 AM PST
Are you giving off the right dating signals, or the wrong ones? Dating examiner for and author of "Ask Annie" at, mid-life dating coach Annie Gleason explains the non-verbal signs that can make or break a date.

Experts estimate that over 70 percent of our communication is non-verbal. If you've mastered the art of exchanging dating signals, you'll be more successful at inviting love into your life.

Signaling that you're available opens doors and helps to create possibilities. It doesn't mean that you're willing to go out with just any one.

There are three easy, great ways to signal that you're available.

  • Wear attractive, flattering clothing. Always leave the house looking your best - dressed for the occasion, with appropriate makeup.
  • Keep your eyes open, and make eye contact with people of the opposite sex.
  • Smile and nod when you make eye contact.

Signal interest - not desperation! There is a big difference. When you signal interest, your manner is friendly, relaxed and casual. Your conversation exchange is topical and light. You have open body language. You're ready to cheerfully leave any time. When you signal desperation, you're anxious to please. You start discussing personal topics. You might hover, talk too long, and act reluctant to let your new acquaintance be on his/her way.

Women think that if a man asks her for her number that he's interested in her. She expects that he's going to call. A man could ask because he's interested at the time. He might call, if he still feels interested later. Some men don't know how to end conversations, and ask for a number. There are hundreds of reasons he might not. Don't take it personally if he doesn't.

Women feel that a great first or second date signals a promising beginning. Men feel that a great date is a great date. So, if you go on a great first or second date, don't get emotionally involved before he follows through. Take it slowly.

Always assume that you are not in an exclusive relationship unless you've discussed it. This means not getting emotionally invested in the outcome until you have talked about whether or not both of you want to be exclusive. Until this happens, it's wise to continue to date other people.

About Annie Gleason
Annie Gleason is the West Coast's only mid-life dating coach specialist. After coaching part time for four years, she launched Get A Love Life and began coaching full-time September 2007. She is the Dating Examiner for San Francisco and the author of Ask Annie at She speaks about dating for Rich Gosse singles events, Solano Singles, and Beachcomber Singles.

Gleason studied dating coaching with Susan Bradley, RN, who is one of the founders of dating coaching, with over 25 years of experience.

Gleason has a background in business and solution-based sales. For over 20 years more than 98 percent of her clients were men. Many of them repeatedly sought her advice about dating. She realized that there was a huge disconnect between how men communicated their feelings and how women perceived them. She was inspired to help men and women understand each other better and entered the world of dating coaching.

Gleason learned from her own dating experiences that if people don't break out of certain patterns they may not achieve their romantic goals. She helps her clients identify and conquer their limitations, understand their souls and pursue their personal goals. 75 percent of Gleason's clients are in satisfying long-term relationships and many begin to see results after just a few weeks of working with her.

Gleason is currently engaged and living with her fiancé. They plan to wed in the spring.