Reality vs. myth: A look at fertility and sex

There are definite differences in how men and women think about sex-especially when trying to conceive. Drs. Turek and Pollycove will address common myths and realities that will help couples trying to conceive come to a better understanding in the bedroom.

Women go through all sorts of experiences, monthly cycles of receptivity, fertility, PMS and menses that can all affect partner intimacy. In fact, their desire for sex is highest when they are fertile. But sometimes, when their biological clock is ticking, women can be "on a mission" to get pregnant. Sounds great for the guy, right? Not necessarily.

Contrary to popular belief and pop culture, men do not have a continuous appetite for sex. In fact, scheduled sex is hard for men and often causes stress and performance anxiety. And stress kills a man's libido. Women's libido also can be affected by stress, especially when they are working too hard at stressful jobs.

Trying to conceive can take all the fun out of sex!

Here are 10 things to do to get the fun back:

  1. Visual aids
  2. Toys
  3. Massage to help relax
  4. Lock the bedroom door or get a baby sitter
  5. Buy and read a good book about intimacy and enhancing communication
  6. If the time is not right, try again later
  7. Exercise to reduce stress
  8. Get enough sleep!
  9. Get some erection pills if things aren't as strong as you like
  10. Stay healthy and treat your body like a temple
5 things not to do:
  1. No TV in the bedroom
  2. No lap tops in bed!
  3. Men should skip the hot tub
  4. Don't try too hard
  5. Don't use lubricants if you can avoid it. Most are sperm toxic.
When should couples seek advice from a healthcare professional?
  • If her menstrual cycles are irregular, making it difficult to know when the "fertile time" of the month is occurring.
  • If erectile dysfunction is a real problem with scheduled sex.
  • If she is not conceiving after a year of trying.
  • If she is over 35 and you've not conceived after 6 months of trying.
What are options when the couple just can't seem to get pregnant?
  • Good medical care can help you make babies by reinforcing your understanding of proper timing for scheduled sex. He should see a urologist and have a semen analysis done.

  • Medical care can solve erection issues and many male infertility issues.

  • Female infertility can often be helped with good counseling, lifestyle changes and medications (such as hormone support, antibiotics, anti-inflammatory meds).

  • Male infertility can often be helped with lifestyle changes or pills, and occasionally surgery.

  • Realize that infertility can be a sign of other medical conditions that may need treatment.

  • Assisted reproductive techniques such as intrauterine insemination (IUI) or in vitro fertilization (IVF) can speed things along, but can get expensive.
Remember: Everything you do to make communication better will help you be better parents together when the baby finally arrives!

For more information on the Turek Clinic, go to

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