Rules of engagement

The new rules of engagement for successfully engaging, building and sustaining relationships in an increasingly techno-relationship driven world.

Engage in relationships and bypass the text, voicemail, facebook system and actually speak to a live human being!

How do you show up? What is your personal or professional presence that you present when you meet people or engage with them on the telephone or even in your texting, facebook conversations etc? Are you perceived as fun, shallow, trustworthy?

Do people want to speak with you or do they avoid you?

Examples for increasing your personal or professional presence that will allow you to engage with people quicker to create relationships:

  • Mood: What is the mood of your conversation?

  • Non-Verbal presence: Using your body to have a more powerful conversation.

  • Way you speak: Learn to make more powerful requests or offers in order to get what you want.

  • Your listening: What is the person REALLY saying?

What it means to actually "build" a relationship incorporating technology married with actual conversation.

Now that you are in a relationship, how to "build" it so the relationship can flourish.
  • What is the "right" rhythm of conversation in order to move the relationship to the next level?

  • What do you both care about?

  • How to keep from sabotaging the relationship by calling or texting too much by "listening" for the non-verbal cues (and yes you can listen for non-verbal cues even over the telephone)

  • The latin root of conversation means changing together. Why do people feel detached from their conversations and how to reengage and reenergize in order to maintain their relationships?

  • It's important in when reaching out and connecting with people to be PRESENT. With Facebook, twitter, Skype and the telephone along with gasp! meeting face-to-face, there is the ability to connect any number of ways to stay in conversation and it's critical when connecting to be PRESENT!

  • Sharing about yourself (but not too much) in order to keep your relationship(s) engaged. A bit of mystery is good…too much information can be overwhelming and a turn-off. You want to be authentic. Reach out and keep in contact with the other person and listen for clues that the relationship is engaging. If not, you need to look at what is not working and then see what you can fix.

  • If the relationship is still not working then decide if it's worth staying and if not, maybe it's time to move on.
For information about the Newfield Network, go to

The Newfield Coach Training Program
Sept. 30-Oct. 3, 2010
Boulder, Colorado

For more information about Carolyn Keyes Carstens, go to

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