It's very important to cry when you are in stress or crisis because crying is one of the ways we restore ourselves to physical and emotional equilibrium. Since we live in a culture that tries to keep us from crying, though, here are a few tips on how to help you cry.
- Give yourself permission. It's o.k. It's important. You're not a sissy or a weirdo. In fact, people who don't cry end up taking drugs, having illnesses and living with increased stress (because they haven't had a release.) You're not "a crybaby;" you're an appropriately grieving adult.
- Physiologically you know you need to cry when you feel that little stinging behind your eyes, that lump, clump or catch in your throat, that ache in your chest, particularly if it's around your heart. (Yes, we do get broken-hearted, and when we are, we need to cry about it.) SO, when you feel all these things instead of "trying to keep it together," ALLOW yourself to know that these are all signs of your needing to cry, and then say to yourself, "O.K. I'm going to cry now and it's going to be alright. In fact I'll feel a lot better after I've had a good cry."
- Just let the tears fall and know that when you've gotten the equilibrium you need from crying, your body will just naturally stop.
- And for God's sake, don't apologize. Every tear you shed over what's unbearable in your life gives other people permission to shed some tears over what's unbearable in theirs. This is the way we share in the human condition, the way we show empathy and develop compassion.
For more information on Daphne, go to www.daphnekingma.com
Book signing:
Thursday, April 22 at 7:30 pm
East West Bookstore
324 Castro Street
Mountain View, CA 94041
